Planning a personal retreat

In our noisy and busy world, we must be intentional to get away, be quiet, listen, and pay attention to the Divine Presence. A personal retreat is a response to God’s invitation in Psalm 46:10 to “Be still and know that I am God.” It is an opportunity to pay attention, experience God’s loving presence, and hear God’s voice. Jesus modeled this for us, often withdrawing to quiet places to pray.
 
I recommend taking a personal retreat at least once annually. Here are a few options and tips for planning your own personal retreat, along with some "pros and cons" —though the "cons" are not reasons against but merely considerations.
 
At-home retreat (if you can arrange for undisturbed alone time). If you have kids...plan a day retreat (or several days in a row) while they are in school, or see if they can stay with a relative or friend. Plan for a longer at-home retreat when they’re away at camp or visiting grandparents.
Pros: No cost or travel, the comforts of home.
Cons: Distractions and potential interruptions; additional logistics if you have kids.
Tips:

• Disconnect your wifi, turn off or silence all devices, and let family and friends know you will be unavailable (except for emergencies).
• Be sure to have everything you will need (food and any supplies) so there’s no need to run out for anything during your retreat.
• Imagine you’re leaving home and do everything you would need to do before leaving, even though you will be at home.
• Create sacred space in your home if you do not already have that space—a meditation/prayer space, a journaling space, a place to set up art supplies, a cozy corner to read.

 
Retreat at a monastery. A monastery provides a beautiful, sacred, and contemplative environment for a personal retreat.
Pros: Gives you the opportunity to attend Liturgy of the Hours with the monastic community if you desire; many offer the option of a directed retreat, where you meet daily with a spiritual director at the monastery and receive prayer and Scripture suggestions for your times of prayer; most have nice guest houses with private rooms and beautiful sacred spaces and grounds where you can walk, pray, and reflect; meals provided (cafeteria style).
Cons: If you haven’t been to a monastery before, the culture and services may seem foreign (most are happy to offer a brief orientation; you also could go on a group retreat to a monastery first before planning a personal retreat—I will be hosting one in 2025); you are subject to their calendar and availability; the nearest monastery may be several hours from your home; sometimes costs can be prohibitive.
Tips:

• Decide on the length of your retreat. I recommend a minimum of 2-3 days. Longer retreats help you to settle into the space and rhythm and open yourself to deeper listening.
• Do your homework online, make your selection, and schedule your retreat well in advance.
• Note times of services and meals you would like to attend while keeping your “retreat schedule” loose and open.

 
Retreat at a cottage/guest house/Airbnb. Renting a space is another option for a personal retreat. Consider what environment will be most conducive to peace and rest for you—on or near water, in the mountains, in a beautiful rural setting.
Pros: You choose the location and price range; privacy.
Cons: May be more challenging to find a quiet location; may feel less safe/secure than in a monastery setting; have to provide your own food/meals; technology temptations; sometimes costs can be prohibitive.
Tips:

• Look for a property that is in a quiet, peaceful, uncongested area.
• Schedule and book the property well in advance.
• Plan and prepare meals ahead of time—unless cooking would be a relaxing and enjoyable activity for you while on retreat.
• Take objects/materials with you to create a sacred space (cross, candle, pillow for kneeling, etc.).

 
Tips for Any Personal Retreat:

• Choose a theme if you like and gather your Bible, journal, books, and activities (prayers, poems, devotions, meditations/apps). Or look online for a pre-made retreat. OR...let the Holy Spirit plan your retreat—my favorite kind of personal retreat! Take a few materials with you and remain open to the Spirit's leading. (See below for more about book selection.)
• Make preparations but hold your plans loosely. Do what you’re drawn to hour by hour. Remember that this time is about being, not doing.
• Unplug! Turn off or silence your phone and let family and friends know you will be unavailable (except for emergencies). Check your phone briefly only once a day and only respond to true emergencies.
• Let everything become prayer—walking, watching the sunrise/sunset, cooking your meals, sitting in silence, journaling, soaking in beauty.
• Set a one-word intention or prayer for your retreat (different from a "theme"). What do you desire? What are you longing for? (Peace, joy, love, healing, hope, release, etc.) Turn your word into a breath prayer to use throughout your retreat (ex: Loving God, give me hope).
• Journal a little each day to record your experiences. How have you seen/heard/experienced God?
• Don’t keep time (unless you are at a monastery or retreat house with set hours for meals and services). As much as possible, follow the rhythms of your body.
• Pray/meditate/sit in silence. Perhaps sit in one scripture verse or passage the entire retreat.
• Do everything more slowly. Get ready slowly, eat slowly, walk slowly, read slowly. You get the idea!
• Try a new-to-you spiritual practice—or several (lectio divina, Examen, breath prayer, imaginative prayer, etc.)
• Do something you enjoy. Read, write, crochet, listen to beautiful music, anything!
• Be creative! Paint, draw, doodle, work a puzzle, dance...
• Walk a labyrinth (many monasteries have one; or locate one near you at www.labyrinthlocator.org
• Do nothing.
• Eat nutritious food.
• Stay hydrated.
• Move your body.
• Give yourself grace! You can’t do this wrong!

Choosing Books for Your Retreat:
When it comes to choosing books to take with you on retreat, remember that less is more. This is not a time to learn and study but to marinate and savor. Read slowly...very slowly. Perhaps read only one chapter of a book, meditating on a paragraph or even one sentence at a time—reflecting, praying, journaling. Limit your "reading time" each day. I know how hard this can be! I LOVE books and usually take more with me than I need. So, I get it. Again, the idea is to savor, not satiate; to lean back, not strain forward; to receive, not achieve. Here are three ideas to help you choose (emphasis on choose from):

• You might choose a spiritual book you're reading now and a favorite (think classic) you like to return to again and again (one of mine is The Practice of the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence). Or you might take a book you've been wanting to read but haven't had time. Just remember the goal is not to read an entire book on retreat! Choose a chapter and marinate in it, listening for what God wants you to sit and pray with throughout your retreat.
• Take a devotional by your favorite Christian author (you probably already have it on your shelf). Or look for a devotional collection of a variety of authors.
• A compilation of prayers /sacred readings is an excellent choice (e.g., The Book of Common Prayer, a collection of prayers of the saints or a particular saint/author, Every Moment Holy—vol. 1-3, etc.).
• Consider taking only God's Word. Read a verse or passage in multiple translations. Meditate on it ("chew" it slowly). Savor it. Let it be more than enough. "When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight" (Jeremiah 15:16 NIV). "‘People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God" (Matthew 4:4 NLT).
  

I hope these tips are helpful as you think about and begin to plan your own personal retreat. It's one of the best gifts you can ever give yourself!